so I am a practitioner of ashtanga yoga, but recently I have been practicing all sorts of yoga, jivamukti yoga, vinyassa flow, and a combination of them all of course. I do not agree of disagree if this is the right way to absorb prana, or obtain the most benefits from the yoga practice. I always fall back on pattabhi jois the creator of ashtanga yoga, “If we practice the science of yoga, which is useful to the entire human community and which yields happiness both here and hereafter – if we practice it without fail, we will then attain physical, mental and spiritual happiness, and our minds will flood towards the Self.” 

But regardless of which type of yoga, I have been a yoga practitioner for about 5 years now, on and off, with school and international travel putting a little constraint on the dedication it takes to follow the primary or secondary series in ashtanga yoga. Recently after years of not getting sick I contracted strep throat. ugh. awfulness. So that put everything, school yoga fun, on hold for about 2 weeks. After the 4th day of antibiotics I said “screw this I’m heading to yoga”, well I found that yoga and antibiotics are never a good combination. Antibiotics just make you weak and lower your immune system, yoga on antibiotics is terribly discouraging. This is why I decided to write this article. Besides staggering in tree pose and going to child’s pose every 5 seconds, I did learn an important lesson. Coming from someone who double low push ups and has to try pichamayarasana every class, I felt powerless, weak and disappointed in myself… Why should I, someone who is ill be disappointed in myself? my illness was not my fault in anyway. now here I was victimizing myself on top of my ego telling me that I was a sore loser. After the 5th child’s pose I went to, I realized I shouldn’t be in the class, but I wasn’t going to give up so easy. I sat in heros pose for most of the class, watching my thoughts and watching non-judgmentally other students practice. I had this connection with myself that I had forgotten about since the first time I experience yoga. I realized I have been having a strong healthy progressive practice the last few years but where was I in my head? I was forgetting the point of yoga, self absorption, union with the body and mind, there I was practicing hard but feeding an ego that finally came to a head when I was there in the yoga room, no longer able to do those amazing poses with my body, I had been taking them all for granted, rushing through my vinyassas, pushing myself into poses just to get that final stage; thinking oh I am an advanced yogi now, when really with all things considered I am a beginner, because I let my focus go astray, I let my intention become only selfish… Now I am relived that I was able to come to terms with this. This moment in my life where I felt awful and hopeless turned into one of the most important lessons I have learned yet. I remember now, this is why I practice yoga.

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